


Heaven's a Heartbreak Away

by Queenie_004



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Denial of Feelings, Don't copy to another site, Drinking Games, Exes, F/M, House Party, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-11-07 14:10:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20818571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie_004/pseuds/Queenie_004
Summary: The only thing that can lure a brokenhearted Peter to a party infamous for its debauchery is the fact that Lara Jean has shown up at it.This is canon compliant up to the movie's post-ski trip break-up.





	1. On the edge of something beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter’s plans to stay home nursing his broken heart are interrupted by Lara Jean’s plans to nurse hers.

_I used to believe_  
_ we were burning on the edge_  
_ of something beautiful_

Peter is skipping the party. It’s Vanessa Parker’s annual pre-Valentine’s bash commonly known as the “Get Laid or Get Fucked” party and he’s so not in the mood.

_Not coming_, he replies to Trevor’s text.

_ bro stop being such a downer. just come get hammered with us. no pressure to get laid! just a bonus if u do!_

Peter sighs and drops his phone on the kitchen counter. What his buddies refer to as a “downer” he calls a broken heart. Broken by one Miss Lara Jean Covey right before Christmas when after less than 12 hours of being her boyfriend, she dumped him over a misunderstanding she has refused to let him ever explain.

He goes to the fridge and pulls out the milk then gets a mug and the Nesquik his mom still buys for him and his brother. He’s going to drown his sorrows in chocolate milk like he’s still nine-years-old and maybe convince Owen to play a videogame with him.

_hey kavinsky, yer girl is here_

He rolls his eyes and responds, _I don’t have a girl anymore asshole_.

He drinks his chocolate milk and stares at his phone. Trevor is pissing him off. They’re all pissing him off tonight and he definitely doesn’t want to go to a party with his drunk ass friends trying to get him to hook up with a random girl.

_touchy touchy! pretty lil lj is here and she looks like she’s on the prowl_

He freezes and stares at the message. Lara Jean is not at Vanessa Parker’s annual celebration of getting shitfaced and hooking up. There is no way. _No possible way_. Trevor is clearly messing with him to get him to show up.

_Pics or it didn’t happen_ he replies. He considers texting Kitty and trying to ask a casual question to determine if her sister is home or not. But no, no way she’s at the party.

His phone buzzes and he swipes quickly to see the image. It’s from a distance but he’d recognize that high bouncy pony tail anywhere and she’s got a red solo cup in her hand. He slams his empty mug onto the counter. “_What the actual fuck_?” he mutters as he enlarges it to see who she’s with.

_u_ _coming now? _

Like he’s going to sit at home all night knowing Lara Jean is at this damn party.

_I’ll be there in 15. And keep her in your sights – pretty sure she is not someone who could handle her booze. _

* * *

When he gets there he has to fight his way in the place is so packed. Trevor has stopped answering his texts so he scans the room trying to spot Lara Jean.

He spots Gabe with other guys from the lacrosse team and they all give him a loud, howling, obnoxious greeting and start shoving drinks at him.

“I knew you’d come! Hell yes Kavinsky is here, now the party can start!” Trevor appears and starts slapping him on the back. He shrugs him off and waves away the sea of cups being offered.

“Where is she? Where’s Lara Jean?”

There’s a collective groan from all the guys and several mutterings of “give it up man”, “let’s find you a new hottie”, “not her again.” He shoots them all death stares until they shut up or wander away to the keg.

“Man, c’mon this is a party!” Trevor grabs Peter’s shoulders, “a party that exists to get you drunk and dipping your wick in some hot sophomore who is dying to give it up to the lacrosse captain.”

Peter steps out of his reach, “you’re being such an asshole Trevor. Knock it off.” He’s been skipping a lot of parties but hasn’t forgotten that Trevor Pike is a belligerent drunk.

Trevor sizes him up and shakes his head, “I don’t know why you’re still so hung up on this chick, Kavinsky. Was she _that good_ in the hot tub?”

Peter’s eyes narrow and he leans forward to tower over Trevor, “what did I say about talking about that?” his voice is steely, “I know you’re wasted but you don’t _ever_ talk about Lara Jean that way again, you got it?”

There’s a tense pause and Trevor breaks first, stepping back and holding his hands up, “sorry PK, we’re good, it’s all good. I just want you to be happy bro, get happy alright?” he grabs a cup and raises it to Peter before disappearing into the crowd.

“He’s such a shitty drunk” Gabe mutters and Peter nods. “I think I saw Lara Jean in the hall outside the kitchen.”

“When?” Peter asks.

“Maybe half an hour ago? Or…um…at least two shots and a beer ago.” Gabe gives him a “sorry!” shrug and Peter laughs.

“I know you all think I need to get over it,” he says as his eyes scan the room, “but I can’t. And more than that, I don’t want to. I don’t want to get over her because then it would really be all done between us. And that’s not – I’m not OK with that.”

Gabe pats him on the back, “you two were pretty damn cute together.”

Peter grins and blows out a breath, “I wish she would remember that.”

With an encouraging grip on his shoulder Gabe leans in, “go get your girl back, Kavinsky.”

* * *

He wanders the house passing horny couples, loud drinking games and drunken arguments. He can’t believe this was his social life. What he wouldn’t give for a return to quiet nights on the Covey couch with Kitty making snarky comments, a plate of Lara Jean’s fresh baked cookies in front of him, and most importantly, Lara Jean curled up next to him – their heads nearly touching and her voice light and happy as she defended her teen romcoms.

Then suddenly Gen is in front of him. “Well look who’s out of mourning” she says, her voice sharp as it’s been with him since he confronted her about posting the hot tub video and humiliating Lara Jean.

“Hey, Gen” he notices she’s dressed to kill in push-up bra and low-cut top. He looks right back up because he knows she’ll try to make his glance into something more than it is.

She flips her hair back, “where’s your drink Peter? You know Vanessa’s rules.”

He nods, “Yup. I’m not drinking. I’m the designated driver.” Her posse is eyeing them and he really hates this fucking party.

“For who?” she demands. “Who are you here with?”

“I’m trying to think of why that would be any of my ex-girlfriend’s business.” He spots Lucas turning a corner into another room and he realizes Lara Jean must be here with him.

“I’m just curious why you’d come to a party where the theme is to get drunk then not drink. Unless you’re just here to get laid…”

He realizes she’s moved closer to him and has started running her hand up his torso and he grabs hold of it. “What are you doing?”

“What do you _want_ to do?” Her smile is sly, “I know what you like.”

He looks around the room because he does not want this to become a scene and Gen is very prone to making a scene.

“You hate me now. Why would you even offer that?”

She leans forward and coos, “a little hate sex never hurt anyone.”

He rears his head back and pushes her hand away. “What the hell is the matter with you? We’re done. _You know that_. Why would you debase yourself like this? Be better Gen, seriously, for everyone’s sake.”

Her eyes get dark and angry and he sees the familiar set of her jaw that means she’s going to go for the jugular. “You’re here for her, aren’t you? What the hell is the matter with _you_, Peter? She doesn’t want you. Everyone knows it. Stop embarrassing yourself with this lovesick puppy act over little miss not-so-innocent who thinks you’re a liar and a cheat.”


	2. Smoke and Mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter makes his moves

_selling a dream_  
_smoke and mirrors keep us waitin' on a miracle_  


Just as he catches up to Lucas in the kitchen he hears Lara Jean’s laugh. She’s at the island with a group of people and they’re playing Quarters. “You have got to be fucking kidding me” he mutters and Lucas hears him and turns around.

“Can we help you Kavinsky?” he says, all attitude. Next to Lara Jean is Chris who has just flipped a quarter into Todd Hendrickson’s cup and the crowd is cheering him on as he takes the shot.

“What is she doing here, doing this?” he asks and Lucas squints at him.

“Not your girlfriend, not your problem, move along boy” he waves his hand in Peter’s face and Peter ignores him and starts making his way into the circle around the island. Lara Jean doesn’t see him at first and he notices how her face is flushed and her hair is coming loose. He wishes this was a different night – one where she’d look up and spot him and squeal his name and demand he come over and give her a kiss.

When she does notice him her reaction is nothing like his fantasy.

Her eyes narrow and her shoulders tense. Without acknowledging him she announces, “it’s my turn, someone try to get it in my cup.” And pours herself a heavy-handed shot. When Burke Hollis grabs a handful of quarters and gives her a leering grin, Peter loses it.

“Covey” he says loud enough over the din that they all turn to look at him, “can I talk to you a minute?”

She glares at him and shakes her head, “hit me” she says to Burke, “I bet you’ll lose $4.00 in here before I have to drink!” Peter knows painfully well that Burke is Adler High’s champion Quarters player and he’s not about to let this bullshit happen.

He moves over behind her and gives her a nudge, “can you step away from the vodka for five minutes so we can talk?” Her pony tail practically hits him in the face as she whips around and fixes him with a look.

“I’m playing a game Peter, go away.” While she’s facing him she misses Burke land two quarters in a row in her cup and the group goes wild. He points at it and she follows his finger and peers in, “oh, shit” she says under her breath.

“If you don’t forfeit this game I promise you in about 5-8 minutes I’m going to be holding your hair while you kneel over the toilet bowl” he says in her ear. “Please, Covey…”

* * *

They end up in the laundry room of all places. She has her arms crossed and a pout on her face and this is not the place he wanted to clear the air with her, but he’ll take what he can get because this is the first time in months she’s agreed to be alone with him.

“What…” she finally says, “…do you want?”

He clears his throat, “are you OK? Do you need water or want to sit down?”

“I’m fine. I’m not drunk” she says unconvincingly.

“You seem drunk”

“What do you care anyway, we’re not together – and even when we were _together_,” she does finger quotes in the air, “we were faking it so…”

“No, we weren’t” he says quietly. “Don’t rewrite our history.”

“We don’t have a history” she huffs. “And you and Gen are together so why are we in this laundry room?”

“I’m with Gen?” he says incredulously, “why do you think that?”

“She’s here. You’re here” she holds her palms up like it’s so obvious.

“I’m here and you’re here Covey, are we together?” She doesn’t respond and he places his hands on the counter behind him because it’s the only way he can think of to stop himself from trying to reach out to her. “I have to tell you something and you have to listen.”

She shakes her head, “no I don’t!” and starts towards the door and he jumps up and into her path.

“Lara Jean, why are you doing this? You know what we had was real, right? I know you did because of the way you looked at me at the hot tub – the way you kissed me and wrapped yourself around me” she turns her face from his, “how you kissed me goodnight after and kept your hand in mine the whole ride back from the ski trip.”

“None of that means anything” she cries, “because of what you did!”

He runs his hands through his hair in frustration, “but I didn’t do anything! Why are you so dead set against hearing the truth?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she presses her hand to his arm to push past him, but he grabs hold of it and tugs her towards him. She stumbles and gasps – her palms coming to rest against his chest and his hand goes to her hip to steady her. “Peter” she breathes his name.

“Look at me Covey,” she shakes her head, “please” he whispers, and she takes a shaky breath and lifts her face to his. She’s so beautiful and so sad and he needs this all to be over so they can start a new chapter. “After I left you at your room at the lodge I only had one intention…”

It’s then that the door flies open and suddenly the party starts spilling into the laundry room and in all the chaos Lara Jean dashes away from him.

* * *

He’s frustrated at the lost opportunity, but he’s buzzed by how her body fit right back into his in that moment – he recognized the look in her eyes that she still had feelings for him. It’s a tiny little victory but enough of one that he knows he’s cracked open just enough of her heart to try and win it back.

He may not be the most popular guy at the party tonight but he’s still the most popular guy at school and he uses that to get another game started. He’s confident he won’t need to lure her into playing it because she’s acting out right now and will be looking for another excuse to go against her reputation and piss him off.

“Oh my god, are we really playing Spin the Bottle?” Lily Chang asks as she plops down in the circle, “are we 12 or something?”

Trevor grins at her, “we’re not 12 so that means we can use tongue.” Lily grimaces at Trevor who is wiggling his tongue. Peter stays crouched down talking to one of his teammates and from the corner of his eye sees Chris and Lara Jean winding their way towards the circle. Lara Jean is protesting but Chris is insistent, and he bites back a smile when Lara Jean gives in and they both sit on the floor.

When there’s enough people he slips himself into the circle making sure he’s right across from her like he was when they last played this in middle school. She’s whispering something to Chris so doesn’t notice him at first and when she does, she starts shaking her head and trying to get up.

“Nope!” Trevor hollers, “no leaving Lara Jean Covey! Once you’re in you’re fucking _in_. Sit your ass back down the game is about to begin!” For once he’s grateful for Trevor’s obnoxious drunkenness as Lara Jean stays seated.

Peter starts announcing the rules and a few more people join in, “yes you have to kiss who the bottle lands on, no you can’t pass, yes there will be same sex kissing, no you can’t stick your tongue down someone’s throat…_Trevor_” he turns to face his glassy eyed friend.

“Unless they want you to” a voice pipes in and Peter glances at the speaker and oh for fucks sake it’s Gen.

“YEAH!!” Trevor bellows and Peter catches Lara Jean’s eye and she is glaring at him again but he is determined to get her to admit her feelings for him and if he has to do it this ridiculous way with this particular cast of people, those are the cards he’s been dealt. She’s worth the risk.

The first few spins are harmless fun and quick kisses and lots of giggling. When Gen gets to spin she sighs loudly, “here we all are _again_” with a smirk at him and Lara Jean. When the bottle lands on Chris the whole group erupts and the cousins start shrieking and shaking their heads, “no, nope, never, fuck your rules Kavinsky” Chris hollers.

“I’m not kissing my cousin, EW!” Gen sputters, “so I get to spin again” she announces and spins the bottle and when it lands just to the right of Peter he watches Lara Jean blow out the breath she was holding and he is giddy at her reaction.

Luck is on his side as no one’s spin is landing on him and so far Lara Jean only had to kiss his buddy Mike who, in a true sign of friendship gave her the quickest peck on the lips like he was greeting a family member. When she spins she glances at Peter and then flicks her wrist and the result is exactly the same as it was the first time she spun a bottle with him.

Her eyes meet his and he shrugs, “rules are rules Covey. I know you like to play by the rules.”

She blinks and Chris whispers something but she just shakes her head. Trevor is howling and the rest of the group are waiting to see what kind of drama is about to unfold. Lara Jean pushes herself up and he meets her over the bottle. She has a determined look on her face like she’s so sure that nothing is going to come of this because she’s so way over him, and he’s eager to prove her very wrong.

He lets his lips touch hers softly just a little tease of sensation as he reaches for her neck and his thumb grazes her jawline. He sees her eyelids flutter before she closes them and leans further in and he moves the tip of his tongue along the seam of her lips and she makes a soft sound of surprise and then he starts to kiss her.

She kisses him back. He feels her skin warm against his palm – she smells like lavender and tastes like beer and he can hear the other players starting to cheer and gasp and murmur. She’s the one that deepens the kiss – parting her lips and sliding her tongue against his and he responds happily, greedily kissing her back and wrapping both hands around her neck to get closer to her.

“Goddamn – it’s not seven minutes in heaven!” someone finally says and that’s followed by, “you guys need a room like, _now_.” He can hear Trevor start to chant and the whole game is forgotten as he kisses her like no one else is there but she stills and breaks the kiss and sits back down – her fingertips touching her lips as she looks at him with dazed eyes.

“You two” Chris says, “I mean…what was _that?_”

Peter licks his lips and tilts his chin towards Lara Jean, “what was it, Covey?” She rises unsteadily to her feet and steps over the bottle between them exiting the game. As she goes her legs brush against his shoulder and she disappears back into the party.

He doesn’t even take the time to notice Gen stalking off in the opposite direction, or Trevor giving him a round of applause, or Lily reaching for the bottle before he’s on his feet trailing Lara Jean to the hall. He watches her dig around for her jacket and purse and he spots them and hands them to her before following her out the front door. They weave through everyone until they are on the street and she finally turns to face him.

“I am drunk” she says, her breath visible in the chilly February air.

He nods, “Let’s sober you up and then I’ll take you home, OK?”

She stays silent but lets him guide her to his Jeep and climbs inside.


	3. Never let you go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Lara Jean lay all their cards on the table

_go through the darkest of days_  
_ heaven's a heartbreak away_

The radio he left on is playing low and he drives slowly trying to work out the longest route to the diner so he can be alone with her a bit longer.

“Why did you kiss me like that?” she says suddenly, her voice soft in the dark cab.

He clears his throat, “I wanted to see if you would kiss me back” when she doesn’t respond he adds, “and you did.” He hears her sigh and he glances over but she’s looking out the window. “So, why did _you_ kiss me like that?” He asks, “I mean, I have my guesses, but I want to hear it from you.”

“I’m drunk Peter, I told you.”

He scoffs quietly, “I don’t buy it…I mean, yeah you’ve been drinking, but I think you knew exactly what you were doing when you spun that bottle. When you opened your mouth and closed your eyes and pressed into me…”

“No” she says but there’s no force behind it.

“…and made that little sound you make when I kiss you…” he mimics the soft little sigh that he noticed when she kissed him on the ski trip – and heard again tonight. “I love that sound.”

“Fine, you’re a good kisser. Is that what you want to hear?” she asks petulantly.

He grins in the darkness and nods, “I mean, yeah – who doesn’t want to hear that?” She groans and crosses her arms. “You’re a good kisser too” he says quietly, “for someone who says they haven’t had many kisses, you definitely know what you’re doing.” It may be dark out but he swears he sees a little quirk at the corner of her mouth like she’s trying not to smile and she turns back to the window so he can’t see it for certain.

“Look, I need to tell you why I went to Gen’s room. It’s not what you think – not at all…”

“Peter”

“I’ve done it your way for two months now Covey, giving you your space and waiting for you to let me tell you the truth…”

“Peter!” she says again, her voice louder but he keeps going, wanting to finally say what he’s needed to since before Christmas.

“After what happened between us that night, I wanted to be with you more than anything – and it was happening, you were letting me know that we could happen when you kissed me…”

“Peter!! Stop the car I think…I might be sick!”

“What?” He looks at her and she’s got her arms wrapped around her middle, “oh, shit! Why didn’t you say that?” He flips his turn signal and frantically looks for a good place to pull over. He skids to the shoulder of the road and tears his seatbelt off, running to the passenger side to throw her door open.

“C’mere, I got you, you’re OK” he gently maneuvers her to face him in the passenger seat and grabs her hands to help her down. She takes a few steps away and lets go of him. He moves towards her as she bends over and he puts his hand on her back and rubs reassuringly.

He hears her take several gulping breaths and he focuses on moving his palm over the same small space between her shoulder blades but what he wants to do is wrap her in his arms and hold her, comfort her and kiss the top of her head, whisper into her ear how he’ll take such good care of her.

She stands up and turns around to him, “I’m fine. I’m not going to throw up. False alarm.”

“You sure?” he asks skeptically, “you look pale” and he notices her hands, “you’re shaking Covey” he reaches for her and she shoves her hands in her jacket pocket and it deflates the breath out of him.

“What happened with Gen?” she says as her eyes lock on his, “and be 1,000% honest with me Peter or we are never speaking to each other ever again.”

He nods eagerly, “I left you at your door – reluctantly – if you had asked me to come in I would have followed you and never left you alone that night.” She blinks but doesn’t move, “and I was so happy, I was fucking _thrilled_ because you liked me back. You liked me as much as I liked you and that kiss was – it was intense, right?” he watches her reaction and she gives him just the slightest whisper of a nod. “I know you think I’m some sort of player who makes out with girls in hot tubs all the time or something – but I’m not like that, like at all. I have never experienced anything like what we had that night. Honestly Lara Jean, it blew my mind and later when you accused me of thinking of it as something disposable – that meant nothing to me – you broke my heart.”

She takes her hands out of her pockets and he silently begs her to come closer but she stays put. “And so I was headed back to my room feeling like the luckiest bastard in the world and I saw Gen slip into her room and I had this thought – just this instant realization that I had to tell her that she and I were definitively done because you and I were going to be together. I felt I owed her that. After three years together and even though she dumped me and I thought I wanted her back – when I knocked on her door the only remaining thought in my mind was to close the book with her because you and I were the real deal and you deserved a completely clean slate.”

Then she does it, she steps closer to him and he feels his shoulders loosen just the slightest bit. “What did she say?”

He gives a dark laugh, “Uh…she said some shitty things and I held my ground and I left her room five minutes later and apparently she spent the rest of the night plotting how to punish me by hurting you. And I’m sorry – _so_ sorry that I even went there at all. I should have waited because I know how it looks, it looks bad and she spun it to look worse.”

“I was so vulnerable” she whispers, and he can hear her voice is about to break, “I had just opened myself up to you and I’d never done that before to anyone and then…”

“I know” he reaches a hand out to touch her but her expression tells him to reel it back. “I’m sorry.” She just nods and he still needs to know, “why did you believe her? Why didn’t you let me explain?”

She wraps her arms back around herself and looks off into the dark night. “It felt like a fairy tale that night and when we got off the bus it felt like a nightmare. It was easier to put my armor back on after Gen attacked than it was to keep it off and continue to expose my heart to you. It felt like a warning, _loving Peter Kavinsky is only going to leave you open to be hurt_. So I retreated and cut you off. I thought I could stop caring but that’s not how it works, does it?”

Peter can’t help the grin that has spread across his face, “you love me?”

Her eyes snap up to his and even with only the glow of the streetlight he can see that she is blushing. “I…” she pauses, “I think I need to get home.” She starts past him to the car and he doesn’t stop her but follows and opens her door, watching her put her seatbelt on and he’s still all smiles.

“You can stop that now” she says, the blush still on her cheeks.

“Stop what?” he looks at her with fake confusion in his eyes. “Just making sure you’re safe, Covey.”

“That smirk” she huffs, “just…ohmigod” she buries her face in her hands and he laughs.

“OK. Let’s go to the diner” he says and closes her door. Getting in the Jeep he glances over at her as she’s trying to smooth her hair back and working hard not to give him the satisfaction of looking over at him. “Some coffee, some pie. We’ll talk more about how you love me…it will be good.”

She groans loudly but doesn’t tell him to skip the diner and take her home.

* * *

She sits next to him at the table like she used to when they were fake. It always gave him a thrill it felt like a promise of something more between them then a contract and some staged PDAs. He orders her a coffee and the pancake platter, and she protests but he assures her it will soak up the remaining booze in her stomach and the coffee will clear her head.

“I’ll never be able to sleep” she grumbles as she dumps sugar and so much milk into her coffee it barely resembles coffee anymore.

“Aww that’s too bad” he says in mock concern, “maybe while you’re tossing and turning you can remember that underage drinking is bad.”

She rolls her eyes at him, “don’t be smug because you’re sober.”

“That’s not why I’m smug” he leers at her as he takes a bite of his pie. “I’m smug because I know that you lo…”

She holds her hand up, “don’t say it again! Just – can we not talk about this now?”

He swallows and shakes his head, “see Covey, it’s the _only_ thing I want to talk about!” He notices how their bodies are angled towards each other and not forward to the table and how her knee is grazing his from time to time and she’s not pulling away from the contact. Her body language is looser than earlier, and she’s even smiled at him a few times making his heart thud so loudly in his chest he feels like he’s sprinted a mile up a hill.

“What about you?” she says quietly, her eyes fixed on her food. “How do you feel…about me?”

He wants to blurt it out, confess it right there in the brightly lit diner at midnight and finally see her face when he says it – but he also selfishly wants to tease her a little longer. It’s the least he can get out of it after two months of waiting for her to come to her senses and hear him out.

“I’m happy you’re talking to me again” he says, “I missed talking to you Lara Jean – on our way to school, in the halls, at lunch, before I went to sleep at night…”

She puts down her fork and turns fully to him, “I’m sorry too. That I didn’t let you explain and I thought the worst of you. I should have trusted you.” Her eyes look clearer than at the party and her expression is earnest and he softens.

“It’s OK.”

She shakes her head, “it’s not. It was immature. And tonight was no better. Going to that party and acting like some sort of wild party girl who loves drinking games and Jell-O shots” she squeezes her eyes shut, “ugh. I feel like such an idiot right now.”

“Hey,” he reaches over and takes her hand under the table, “you’re not an idiot. You were hurting and I was upset and it’s over. All is forgiven, OK?” he takes a chance and lifts her hand to his lips and kisses it and the way she looks at him makes him want to melt.

“Peter” her voice is so low only he can hear it and he leans in to kiss her, “my curfew is in 20 minutes, so…”

He exhales a resigned breath and nods his head, “right, yes…curfew. Let’s eat up and I’ll get you home before The Grounding Hour.”

* * *

Back in his Jeep he turns the radio off and they drive quietly. He has to tell her how he feels about her and he doesn’t want it to be something rushed at the end of a crazy night, but he knows that there is no way she is not going to hear it before her head hits her pillow tonight.

They get to her house far too soon and he kills the engine and neither make a move to get out.

“Can I call you tomorrow?” Peter says finally, “maybe come over to study or if that’s not cool…yet” he’s not sure how long it may take Kitty to accept him again, “just talk?”

She nods, “Yeah, that’s OK. Maybe we can go to the library.”

“Yeah!” he says brightly, as if going to the library on a Sunday afternoon is something he can’t wait to do and if it’s with her, then he can’t. “I’ll pick you up and we can get a bite after or something.” He glances at his phone and the clock is ticking. “Let’s get you in so you’re allowed to go tomorrow.”

He opens her door and walks with her to her porch and when they reach it, he steps back into the shadows out of the light, “hey, c’mere” he whispers and she glances towards her house then follows him.

“There’s one more thing you need to know”

“OK” she nods, “what is it?” she breathes.

“I need you to know” he reaches his hands to cup her face, “that I’m in love with you Lara Jean. That’s 1000% the truth and has been since the Ski Trip, since _before_ it as we’re being honest.”

Her face lights up in his hands and her body tilts into his, “you are?”

Nodding he leans down to kiss her and she eagerly returns the kiss as her arms wrap around his neck and she exhales the sweet little sigh she makes when he’s kissing her and he could die of happiness right now on the Covey Family Porch with three minutes until curfew.

“You are a _great_ kisser” she says as she breaks the kiss, resting her forehead against his with her hand stroking against his hair. “I said _good_ earlier and that doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

He chuckles and places baby kisses over her face, nuzzles against her ear, “you were mad at me so I was only good.”

She giggles, “I’m not mad anymore.”

“Good” he murmurs against her lips as he kisses her again and he is getting completely lost in the warmth of her mouth, the soft strokes of her tongue when he feels her reach up and then experiences the sensation of her hair falling around his fingers.

“Here” she whispers as she takes his hand from her neck and slides her scrunchie on it, “don’t let anyone take this one from you, OK?” she looks up at him with a smile and he is so crazy fucking in love with her he wants to scream it out to her entire neighborhood.

“Over my dead body” he grins and she juts out her lower lip in a pout.

“Don’t let it come to that Kavinsky!” They smile at each other like lovesick idiots for a few moments and then she sighs, “I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He nods and takes her hand to walk her back to the door where she digs for her key. Turning back around she pauses and with a shy smile she says, “I love you too.”

He clutches his hands over his heart like she’s shot him with cupid’s arrow and it’s cheesy as hell but her light giggle and tiny wave as she closes the door makes him understand he’s going to be smothering her in cheesy romantic gestures from now on and he honestly cannot wait.

* * *

He wakes up early and bounces out of bed, surprising his mom and brother with his buoyant mood after the dark one he’s been in since before Christmas.

“How was your night honey?” his mom asks and he grabs her in a big hug while she butters her toast, making her squeal.

“It was _awesome_ mama thank you for asking!” He releases her and scruffs up Owen’s hair as he’s sitting eating cereal, “how are you this morning little man?” Owen looks up at him warily.

“What’s that?” he points to Peter’s arm where Lara Jean’s scrunchie sits, having not left his wrist since she put it on him last night.

“This” Peter grins and tugs it, “is my girlfriend’s scrunchie.”

Owen’s eyes widen and his mom exclaims, “your _girlfriend_?” Peter nods and pours himself a huge bowl of cereal. “Dare I ask _which_ girl?”

He hears his brother mutter under his breath, “please not Gen.”

He happily slides his phone across the table and Owen picks it up as his mom peers down from behind him. The screen lights up and across from him they both smile at the lockscreen of Lara Jean kissing his cheek at Greg’s party a million years ago.

“Well!” His mom says, her excitement evident in just that one word, “looks like your girlfriend has texted you.” Peter dives across the table to grab his phone back.

_Good morning! Any plans today?_

_ Spending it with my girlfriend. My 1000% REAL girlfriend_

_I couldn’t sleep because someone made me drink too much coffee before bed so I was up late making cookies for my boyfriend. He’s also 1000% real btw_

_ When can I see you? And it’s because I really want to see YOU, not at ALL because I want to eat those cookies_

_Uh huh. I suggest you plan on sooner than later because I have an annoying sister who is eager to reunite with you – and is also eyeing your cookies_

_ I want to kiss you again_

_Peter! _

_ And you WANT me to kiss you again_

_I MIGHT _

_ 1000% honesty from now on Covey_

_I want to kiss you too_

_ It’s a date! See you in an hour. We’ll start with kissing, then cookies, then probably more kissing and I guess some studying_

_You are going to be real distraction Kavinsky_

_ That’s the goal! I love you_

_I love you too – and Kitty says ‘hurry up doofus’_

_ Man, I have MISSED you Covey Girls _

* * *

_never let you go, never let me down_

**Author's Note:**

> Like all writers I crave feedback! Please share in the comments if you have any and thank you for reading!  
[I posted a “cover” on Tumblr if you’d like to take a look](https://queenie-004.tumblr.com/post/188202271578/the-only-thing-that-can-lure-a-brokenhearted-peter/)
> 
> [Find me on Tumblr!](https://queenie-004.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Title: Let Me Love You, DJ Snake f/Justin Bieber (2016)


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